Setting the Stage for Change

In today's post, I reflect on how I became aware that I have been “Adrift” for the better part of my life. It was a sad realization, but that moment of self-awareness was exactly what I needed to get started, and it is now helping me set the stage to prepare for the rest of my life.

Listening to My Feelings

I can’t explain to yall how I knew exactly that it was time for me to make some changes in my life. Now that I think about it, I actually don’t think it was a single thought or idea, but it was more of a feeling like a nagging sensation that would not allow me to feel settled even though getting settled was my goal. It was as if something deep within was calling me to make moves that would set the stage for me to go after the life that I had been longing for.

Recognizing That I Was Lost

I wrote a poem some time back about feeling like a piece of driftwood constantly floating and never reaching land. Wondering if I ever would find a place to call home. Wondering if I’d ever feel loved enough or simply satisfied.

I loved the poem when I wrote it, and I love it even now, but it makes me sad. It was when I recognized that sadness that I knew the time for me to stop drifting had come, and I knew that it would all begin with me.

Listening to My Voice

I think that one of the reasons I was lost for as long as I was is because I wasn’t heeding to the right voice or I wasn’t heeding the call that came from within. The more I listened to outside voices, the more I silenced my own. I was not paying attention to the call that was trying to let me know that there is much more to life, and by more, I don’t mean stuff, I mean more life to live, more life to experience, and more life to enjoy. I’m paying attention now.

Getting Unstuck

Like driftwood, I was constantly adrift, and aimless wandering had me exhausted. My thoughts overwhelmed me. I lived in a constant state of “Trying to figure it out.” I pretty much couldn’t move because I felt like I needed to know that my next move would be the one that would finally got me where needed to be. My need to know and control everything had me stuck, had me adrift. It wasn’t until I started directing my life that I was able to make any real movement. I am moving now.

Getting in Alignment

Being adrift not only left me exhausted, but it made me feel stranded and alone. A terrible place to be because I made choices that did not align with the woman I wanted to be. On one hand, I longed for stability, a secure life filled with warmth and softness, but on the other hand, it seemed that everything I did led me farther away from that life and closer to a life of insecurity, a cold and hard life. I had to get to know me.

Getting Clear

I am no longer interested in spending my life adrift: floating from one bad and hasty decision to another nor am I interested in having my decisions be made for me. No, I am done with living that life. I am on the shore of living My Revised Life, and I recognize my full ability to do exactly that.