I Am Insecure Too..
“One day I’m healing… next day, I’m breaking again. Both days I’m not giving up.”
Author Unknown
I have always been the type of person to effortlessly befriend others. I actually love meeting new people, and I love making people feel like they are seen, like they are valued, like their lives have meaning. It took me a while to realize that building meaningful relationships with people is really my "super power". You see, I don't mind complimenting others, and I love noticing the changes people make, like when someone has gotten a fresh haircut or is rocking a new shade of lipstick. I love observing these changes, and even more so, I love letting them know that I noticed. My acknowledgment, says to them, "Hey, I see you". It brings me joy to validate people and to give them the confirmation whether they seek it or not.
The problem is, I seem to struggle when it comes to using that same super power when it comes to fostering a relationship with myself and truly seeing my own value.
Now before you start thinking, “Oh this is going to be a sad, sappy, “woe is me blog post”,” let me assure you it’s not. It is however going to be one that shows you (and reminds me) that no matter how much we want people to see our value and worth, it will never happen unless we learn to see it first. And to do that, we have to overcome our insecurities.
Let me explain. A month ago, I bought a beautiful dress, and I knew that it would be beautiful on me. It’s a long sweater dress, ribbed with a twisted feature in the back. It was love at first sight.
However, when I tried it on, all I saw was my stomach and my back rolls, and when I went to have my pictures taken, I didn’t love myself in the dress like I did the other pieces I wore. I let the darkness of my insecurities win.
The problem was not with the dress, the problem was within me and how I saw myself. Instead of seeing a 47 year old mother of three, I saw comparisons, and I am here to tell y’all, that our insecurities only need a little opening, a crack, to come in and take over.
That is when we have to uncover them, confront them, and let them reveal to us why we continue to hide them.
I now realize that my healing will begin, can only begin, once I start to confront the parts of me that I tried to bury and let the real me emerge. I know that I can do it, and what’s more, I know that you can too. And now is the time for us to do it. There are some truths that we must confront, so that we can live more freely.
This is why we have to REVISE how we think about ourselves, and that, my fellow Dreamers, is why I write this post. There will be days when will be doing well, feeling good, and thinking only positive thoughts, and there will be days when we have to force ourselves to feel good and think positively. The goal, y’all is to know that no matter how hard it gets, you are worth it.
That is when we have to uncover them, confront them, and let them reveal to us why we continue to hide them.
I now realize that my healing will begin, can only begin, once I start to confront the parts of me that I tried to bury and let the real me emerge. I know that I can do it, and what’s more, I know that you can too. And now is the time for us to do it. There are some truths that I must confront, so that I can live more freely.
Last week Tyson said to me, “I can do hard things.” And now I pass that message on to you. “You can do hard things.” Just start!
XOXO,
